Step in the Right Direction
by AngylGrrl
Summary: The gang loses a good friend...some B/W and F/T


Title: Step in the Right Direction  
Author: Kit  
Disclaimer: BTVS is Joss Weadon's creation. The man is a god. Also Streets of Philadelphia is by Bruce Springstein. The only character I created was Christina.  
Rating: PG-13 (cause of language and sadness)  
Summary: The gang loses a friend, some B/W and T/F.  
===============================================================  
Willow wiped her eyes as she sat at her desk. She stared at the screen of her laptop and sighed.  
'Why,' she thought, 'Why so damned young?'  
Unable to answer her own question, she began to type.  
  
May 2, 2003  
  
Dear Journal,  
  
We buried her today. As she requested we played Streets of Philadelphia by Bruce Springstein. Everyone cried when that song played, including Buffy. I can't believe she is dead. She was so young. Poor Tara, she lost one of the people she loved the most. She is such a good person, I hate seeing her in pain. Faith comforted her as she cried. Faith has always cared about Tara, ever since she met her. She knew that Tara loved another, but it wasn't the same way that she loved Tara. Buffy hasn't come home yet. I think she is at the cemetery. I don't blame her, though. She always goes there when she needs to think, or to slay vampires. I think Buffy some how blames herself for this. She couldn't have saved her, even if she wanted to. She was dying from an incurable disease. "Ain't no angel gonna greet me," she used to say, quoting the song. She was originally from Philly. She loved the East Coast, but always admired the bluer waters of the West Coast. I just wish I could help Tara. She may have been with us for like six months, but she really made an impact on a lot of people. She even spoke at the college a few times.  
  
Willow wiped her eyes again, when a knock came at the door. She walked over and opened the door. There was Faith, holding Tara, who was unconscious.   
  
"Faith," Willow asked.  
"I..I went to g..go see here, a..and she was l..like this."  
"Its ok."  
  
She helped Faith carry Tara into the living room and laid her onto the couch. Faith kneeled beside the couch. Willow checked for a pulse and found a very weak one. Faith started crying.  
  
"You love her, don't you," Willow asked.  
"Y..yes."  
"Don't worry. I'll help her. She is going to need you now."  
"I need her too."  
  
Willow smiled at Faith and headed into the kitchen. She called Giles and told her what was going on. He said he would be right over. She looked out the window and was worried. Buffy still wasn't home yet. Willow got a wet cloth and brought it back in to the living room. She placed it on Tara's forehead.  
  
"Faith what happened?"  
"I went to her apartment to see how she was doing, cause of the funeral and all. When I got there, her door was open. She must have gotten in and collapsed. Her song was playing on repeat."  
"Poor Tara. She is really taking her death hard."  
"Yeah she is. Where is Buffy?"  
"She hasn't been home since the funeral."  
"She is blaming herself huh?"  
"I think so."  
  
A knock came at the front door, and Willow answered it. Giles came in and started to check out Tara. Willow and Faith were talking in the kitchen, giving Giles some privacy. Willow held Faith as she cried for Tara. She knew Faith loved Tara, almost as much as she loved Buffy. Willow was really getting worried now. It had been at least four hours since Buffy came home. And it was dusk, and she knew Buffy didn't have any weapons. Giles came into the kitchen to talk to the girls.  
  
"She is just mentally exhausted. She needs to rest. Faith, go sit with her, she needs you now more than ever," Giles said.  
  
Faith nodded and headed out of the room. Giles then looked at Willow.  
  
"Where is she?"  
"She hasn't come home since the funeral. She is taking this really hard. I think she blames herself, you know."  
"Quite right. But Buffy couldn't have stopped the disease. Hell, no one can. It is still incurable."  
"Giles, what can I do?"  
"Just love her."  
  
They heard a soft moan coming from the living room. Tara was starting to wake up. Faith was there, stroking Tara's blond hair.  
  
"Please wake up," Faith whispered, "I'd be lost with out you."  
  
Tara's eyes began to flutter, and slowly open. She looked over at Faith and smiled.  
  
"It's ok," Tara whispered, "I'm not leaving you yet."  
  
Faith gently hugged the witch and sighed in relief. Even Willow felt relieved by this scene. She walked over to the window and looked out. She gasped in horror when she saw Buffy stumbling home, her clothes torn and bloody. She opened the door and ran to Buffy, quickly helping her inside. She also checked for a pulse, Buffy had one.  
  
"Buffy, what happened," Giles asked.  
"Don't worry. I just caught off guard when I was coming home."  
"By what," Willow asked.  
"People who knew that today was her funeral."  
"What?"  
"I don't want to talk about it."  
"Damn it Buffy! Her death was not your fault. She loved us all. You could not have saved Christina."  
  
That was the first time they had said her name since the funeral.  
  
"She didn't have to die for us!"  
"She did this for all of us, Buffy," Tara said, with Faith by her side, "She was dying long before she came into our lives, well your lives. That girl was my family. My blood! And those ass holes that beat you up are similar to the ass holes that poisoned her."  
"Yeah, B, you gotta remember, she loved all of us. She had the best time of her life here. Tara did love her the most out of all of us, I will say that much. But we are all still grieving. Its hard to lose family, B, you know that," Faith said.  
  
It was true, she did know. Her mother died of a sudden aneurysm. Her death rocked Buffy's world to the core of its foundation. Luckily she was with Willow when this happened, so she had support. Tara had support too. She had Willow, Buffy, Giles, and her Faith, the love of her life.  
  
"It just feels like when Kendra was killed, and Ms. Calendar. I could stopped that, but I didn't," Buffy cried.  
"That was not your fault. You didn't know that would happen with Angel. No one knew," Willow spoke sternly.  
"Yeah, B, you gotta let that go," Faith spoke up again.  
"I'm sorry. Its just that I am used to losing people because of vampires and demons, not disease," Buffy cried.  
"Hey, I know," Tara said.  
  
Tara walked over to Buffy, and hugged her tightly. Someone had put the radio on and her song played.  
  
I was bruised and battered and I couldn't tell what I felt  
I was unrecognizable to myself  
Saw my reflection in a window I didn't know my own face  
Oh brother are you gonna leave me wasting away  
On the streets of Philadelphia  
  
"She loved this song," Buffy sighed.  
"Yeah. Reminded her of home. I guess a Philly girl forever," Tara chuckled.  
"She isn't suffering anymore you know," Willow added.  
"I know," Tara said, "Its just hard thinking that I am never going to see her beautiful face again."  
"I know," Buffy added as well, "Such a good hearted girl. Hopefully she is happy. It just seems like this is one of the first normal things to happen on the hell mouth."  
"What do you mean," Faith asked.  
"She died from AIDS. Not a demon attack, or vampire, but AIDS. This is an incurable disease that has hit millions. This doesn't happen daily here."  
"It is a really big thing out there. Its like we don't even know what the hell is going on in our world because we are too busy saving it," Willow said.  
  
I walked the avenue till my legs felt like stone  
I heard the voices of friends vanished and gone  
At night I could hear the blood in my veins  
Just as black and whispering as the rain  
On the streets of Philadelphia  
  
"She never gave up, you know. Even when she was at her worst, she kept going," Tara said, softly.  
"I think she was even braver than Faith and myself put together," Buffy added.  
"Yeah she seemed that way to me," Faith agreed.  
  
Ain't no angel gonna greet me  
It's just you and I my friend  
And my clothes don't fit me no more  
I walked a thousand miles  
just to slip this skin  
  
"She is watching over us now guys, we know that. She is our angel," Willow said, "She may not have had an angel greet her, but when its our time, she'll be there to greet us."  
  
The night has fallen, I'm lyin' awake  
I can feel myself fading away  
So receive me brother with your faithless kiss  
or will we leave each other alone like this  
On the streets of Philadelphia  
(Bruce Springstein Streets of Philadelphia)  
  
They just stood there silently. They were remembering all the good times they had with the young girl. Buffy remembered the first time she came out with her on patrol.  
  
**Buffy walked right next to the young woman with dark hair.  
  
"So this is what you do," she asked.  
"Yup. I come out here and go to the fresh graves that I know where caused by vampires, and then stake em."  
"Cool."  
  
Buffy chuckled at the enthusiasm this young girl flashed. **  
  
Buffy smiled at the rest of them. Tara was remembering the first day Christina told her she had AIDS.  
  
**Tara sat down on her couch and looked at Christina. She could see the anguish in the young girl's face.  
  
"Tina, what's wrong? You know you can trust me."  
"Tara, I have something to tell you. When I was back home, I was raped. I am over the rape, which is a main reason I am out here. But, Tara, I'm dying."  
"Dying?"  
"I am in the advanced stages of AIDS. I was given a few months to live. That is why I came out here. I love you Tara, you are my family."  
"Oh sweetie."  
  
Tara hugged her cousin, with tears streaming down her face. **  
  
Tara sighed as she leaned into Faith. Even Faith was having her own memory.  
  
**Faith and Christina were sitting on a couch at the Bronze. Faith kept looking around for Tara.  
  
"She'll be here, don't worry," Tina told Faith.  
"You sure?"  
"Yes. I know she wants to try to get with you."  
  
Faith blushed.  
  
"You have been a really big help, you know that."  
"Well someone had to play cupid between the two of you."  
"Thanks T."  
  
Faith smiled at Christina and ruffled her hair. **  
  
"She was such a good kid," Faith finally spoke up.  
  
Someone needed to kill the silence, and Faith knew that.  
  
"Yeah she was," Giles spoke up.  
  
He was just watching them remember the young girl.  
"But I will say that AIDS is a demon amongst the normal world. Here, we fight hell spawn, but out there; they fight incurable diseases like AIDS and cancer. We may be too busy to notice them, just as they are too busy to notice us. But secretly we thank each other."  
  
They just listened to him. Buffy nodded to Giles.  
  
"Yeah, you're right. I do thank the doctors who save lives, they may scare me, but I still thank them," Buffy said, softly, "I just wish we could have done something."  
"I know Buffy, honestly I do. I wish my magic could have saved her or you could have found some demon with a cure. But that didn't happen, no matter how hard we tried, she still died," Tara said.  
  
Just then a bright white light flashed in front of them. There, in a white robe, stood Christina.  
  
"T....tina," Tara stuttered.  
"Aye. Do not worry about me. I am happy, be happy for me," Christina said, softly.  
"I know, but it hurts."  
"I know it hurts, but I am not hurting anymore. Look, no more scars. No more bruises from the needles. I also forgave the person who did this to me. Yes he hated gay people. Yes he gave me this disease and stole my innocence. Buffy, I know those people beat you up because of who you love. They are bigots and will get what they deserve. As for me, I'll always be watching over you guys. You are still my family and I love you all. One day, all of us will be together again, but don't fret, that is a long time coming. That includes you Buffy."  
"You'll be in our hearts always," Willow said.  
"Aye, and you will always be in my sight. I gotta go now. Take care you guys. Tara, be happy with Faith. You both deserve each other."  
  
With that said, Christina disappeared. Everyone in the room felt their souls being lifted as they watched her leave. Faith turned Tara towards her and held her gently.  
  
"I love you," she whispered.  
"Love you too," Tara whispered back.  
  
Buffy and Willow watched and chuckled.  
  
"Ah, young love," Willow chuckled.  
"Well, if they're young love, are we old love," Buffy asked.  
"Nope, we're just perfect."  
  
Buffy and Willow began to kiss. It started out as a simple kiss, but grew to a more passionate one. Tara and Faith just stared in shock, while Giles began to fidget, with his face turning many shades of red.  
  
"I, well, I, I mean, I am, well, I'll be in the other room," he final got out and left.  
"Always works," Buffy said, with a grin.  
  
All four women started laughing.  
  
"She's right you know," Willow started, "We should be happy for her. We all love her, and she'll always be right here."  
  
Willow pointed at her heart.  
  
"Yeah," Tara replied, "She'll always have us to look out for. She is now our guardian angel."  
"Well, I don't know about you B, but I have a guardian angel, right here, in front of me," Faith said, pointing at Tara.  
"I know what you mean."  
  
The two couples held each other, Faith with Tara and Buffy with Willow. Even though they had lost someone very important to them, they'd always love her. And whenever they heard her song, or heard any news on Philadelphia, they always thought about her. Willow took Buffy upstairs and cleaned her wounds, while Tara and Faith sat in the living room talking to Giles.  
  
Buffy came down with her tattered clothes and threw them out. Willow followed and sat down on the floor. Buffy joined them and sat near Willow.  
  
"So, who attacked you," Giles asked.  
"Some jack asses who feel their views are the right ones. 'Down with Dykes!'"  
"Lovely wording," Faith snarled.  
"Would you remember them if you saw them again," Giles asked.  
"Yes!"  
"Babe, calm down," Willow spoke softly.  
  
Buffy looked at Willow. Willow saw all the emotions, pain, love, hurt, hate, all these emotions and more running rapidly through her mind and soul.  
  
"Its going to be ok, I promise," Willow said soothingly.  
"I can't kill them to protect you. They are humans. They are worse than demons, because they can take another humans life, without remorse."  
"That is what makes you better than them, B. Remember when I accidentally killed the Assistant Mayor? It killed me. You, Willow, Giles, and now Tara are helping me, more than I can say thank you for. No one can survive that hell. Guilt is what ate me alive, it'll do the same to them," Faith said.  
  
Buffy sighed, running her hand through her blond hair.  
  
"Yeah, I guess you are right. Well besides getting my ass kicked, I kinda did some thinking," Buffy said.  
"About," Tara asked.  
"Well, Christi was really known through out the community, for only being here a few months. I was thinking we could start a scholarship fund in her memory, the Christina Anderson Memorial Scholarship. It could go to a student who really deserves a chance on the world."  
"That is a really great idea. She would be honored," Tara said, smiling brightly.  
"Yeah, she would."  
  
Buffy held her head down.  
  
"Hey now, don't do this," Willow started, "We all know that we couldn't have done anything."  
"That's not it Wills. I may have been the first in these damned attacks, but whose next? You? Faith and Tara? Our friend Larry? The GLBT students on campus and in the community? It does not end with me or with Tina. This is just the start. Remember that boy, Matthew Shepard. He was killed because he was gay."  
"And here I thought we didn't fight the worlds problems," Faith said.  
"I guess we do, because they effect us now too. I say we create a support system here, in Christina's honor as well. A GLBT community center for students and townies. They can go there and know that they have a safe haven where they can be themselves. I mean we have the money to get all of these things started."  
"You really thought about this, haven't you?"  
"Yes. It may be a small start, but it is a start and that is all that matters."  
"She's right," Willow said, "We do need to start something here."  
  
The birth of the center and the scholarship fund, they all felt like they were allowing their friend to live again. And though these were only minor solutions to the bigger problems out there, they were on the right road. For once, Buffy got to deal with the real world, and it scared her. It scared all of them. People could be worse than demons and vampires. But at least it was a step in the right direction.  
  
~FIN~  



End file.
